100 Ways to Annoy a Cahill
by itsyourfaultstars
Summary: Keegan Royce is a typical Cahill, who just so happens to like pranking and of course, annoying her relatives. Join her! Back for a new chapter! This time...Nellie. Nellie's not going to like her iPod being taken away. Oh, no.
1. Chapter 1: Ian

Hello, this is my first fan-fic, so don't judge me too harshly. And well, review.

Disclaimer: I don't own the 39 Clues or Cahills. Keegan is a character made up by me.

100 Ways to Annoy a Cahill

Chapter One:

Target: Ian Kabra

1. Expose Ian and his pink boxer shorts to the world.

Normally, one would be excited to be in London, England. Well, I'm a Cahill. My parents are currently spending one week here researching something on William Shakespeare and checking to see if Ian and Natalie are doing well. **(A/N: This is after Into the Gauntlet, naturally)**

I look inside the Kabra home, my parents dashing off to somewhere in the huge mansion. I glance at art Ian deals at a somewhat-modest price. In fact, he's at an auction right now. I'll think i'll give him a visit.

I hop on the small stage in the Kabra living room and stand next to Ian offering a Janus painting to the bidders in the crowd. While the bidders argue amongst themselves, Ian says through clenched teeth, "What in the world are you doing here, dear cousin?"

I roll my eyes. "First of all, stop calling me 'dear cousin', it's _annoying_. Second, can't I observe this excellent auction held by an excellent leader?"

Ian actually looks pleased. "Fine. Observe all you want."

"Can I do an item? Like, go 'how much will you buy this for?'" I ask.

Ian sighs and smirks at me. "Go ahead, dear cousin."

I glare at Ian for calling me 'dear cousin' again, and then grin brightly at the bidders.

"Hello there, I'm Keegan! No, it's not a weird name, so shut up, I can see you snickering!" I say with a bright smile. I gesture towards a statue of a dude wearing a toga.

"This is a wonderful statue of a dude wearing a toga! Clearly it was created by a Janus with a strange taste for art, because togas are so, like, 5,000 years ago."

Ian looks annoyed, but doesn't stop me.

"Before y'all bid, I'd just like to thank my _dear cousin_ Ian for letting me be here today! Ian is so kind, isn't he! He's such a softie; I just _adore_ his teddy bear Mr. Stuffins and his _cute_ pink boxers with dollar signs on them!"

Ian's face is bright pink, but he doesn't want to embarrass himself anymore in front of the bidders.

"And his FACE matches his boxers!" I gush, smirking at Ian.

I pull out a liquidator bug and throw it so it lands on Ian's belt. His belt evaporates and Ian's famous-brand pants fall down showing the audience exactly how cute Ian's boxers are. Today they have Care Bears on them!

Ian walks out of the room with as much dignity as a dude in his boxers can have, fuming.

"Okay, back to the auction! This certain toga-wearing statue begins at...one penny!" I call out.

The bidders look uncertain, since one penny seems incredibly unbelievable and they want to spend more simply for the joy of spending. However, I put in place a rule stating only one penny more per bid. They sigh and begin bidding. An hour later, we have a winner.

"Going once...going twice...SOLD for one dollar to the lady in red!" I yell out.

It only sold for one dollar mainly because everyone got tired of bidding, after I only allowed one penny more per bid.

Then Ian (wearing a new belt) bursts in the doors with guards.

"Guards, escort my dear cousin out of the auction room!" he commanded.

As they dragged me away, I called out to Ian, "Say hi to _Amy_ for me, dear cousin!"

Ian's face turned pink again as I got pushed out of the room. I looked at the staircase that leads to the second floor. Natalie was currently in her room getting ready for a party. I grinned to myself. It seems now is the time to give my other dear Lucian relative a visit.


	2. Chapter 2: Natalie

**Review, please! If you're reading this right now, REVIEW. Surely you have an opinion of my story.**

Disclaimer: I don't own The 39 Clues.

Chapter Two:

Target: Natalie Kabra

2. Question Natalie's taste in clothing.

I went up the stairs to the second floor, striding into Natalie's room.

"Hello, Natalie! How are you this fine afternoon in your room?" I ask perkily.

Natalie pops out of her closet.

"What? Oh, it's you, Keegan. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, 11 years ago I was born, and then-"

Natalie rolls her eyes.

"I mean, why are you here in my room?" she asks impatiently.

"Oh, your kind brother kicked me out of his auction room after I revealed his Care Bear boxers to the bidders." I say indifferently.

Natalie smirks.

"Well, I suppose you can help me pick out an outfit for this party I'm going this evening. Since your taste in attire isn't as horrible as some Cahills, I guess you can come along with me later to the party," she says.

"Really? A snotty rich people party with Natalie Kabra? I am so honored!" I say sarcastically.

"Keegan, are you going to assist me or what?"

"Fine," I say, and walk into Natalie's huge closet.

15 minutes later, Natalie is wearing high heels, a feather boa, a silky dress with ruffles and puffy sleeves, and she's holding a fancy handbag.

"What do you think?" she asks, twirling.

A smile twitches at the corner of my mouth, and then I burst out laughing. I wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes as Natalie looks nervously in the mirror.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"Well, you just look ridiculous in it all. Gosh, you're eleven and you're wearing a fancy dress and high heels to a simple party held by one of your friends!"

Of course, her friend is filthy rich, but I don't remind Natalie of that.

Natalie looks unsure, but I hit a few keys on her computer and show her a regular girl wearing jeans and sneakers. Natalie looks disgustedly at the screen as I shove her into her closet.

I am seriously surprised at the contents of Natalie's closet. She owns one pair of extra-skinny jeans from some kind of fancy store in Italy. And she has one pair of light blue Converse with (real) diamonds on them. Sheesh.

Anyways, Natalie walks out wearing the extra-skinny jeans, a t-shirt with the Union Jack on it, a thin white jacket, and the diamond Converse. I allowed her to keep the fancy handbag, and she goes into her bathroom to do her hair and apply eyeliner and whatever. She allows me to go into her closet and pick whatever I choose to wear. I pick a purple ruffled skirt (as she had no other pants available for moi), a black tank top, my own green hoodie, my black high-top Converse, and I wear my assortment of wristbands on my wrists, including one that says "Save the Micro-Organisms". Natalie walks out and cringes at my outfit.

"Are you sure this is the right choice of clothing?" she asks.

"Of course! Everyone wears this kind of stuff. In America!"

I drag Natalie away from looking horrifyingly at her reflection and we head downstairs.


	3. Chapter 3: Jonah nah nah

**Hey, I only got 3 more reviews from that last chapter. If you like my story, review! Reviews are pie! As in, I like pie, so reviews are like pie to me. Got that? Okay.**

Chapter Three:

Target: Jonah Wizard

3. Insult Jonah in Shakespearian.

"We're here!" Ian called out, shooting me a dirty look.

Ian was wearing a fancy suit, and he had seemed stunned at Natalie's outfit, but kept his mouth shut. The siblings glided gracefully inside (I walked casually like most people do) and greeted Natalie's friend, the hostess of the party. The girl looked Natalie up and down.

"Hey Natalie, you look...awesome!" she said, grinning.

Hmm, well that didn't turn out like I expected.

"Ian, what's with the suit? It's not a formal party." she added.

I smirked, satisfied.

The girl, Sophie, complimented me and we continued on into the large living room. Ian went off to the game room and Natalie went with Sophie. I looked around. Music was playing, people were dancing.

Then I spotted someone.

"Hey, Jo Nah Nah Nah! What's up?" I shouted at him.

"'Sup, Keegan! How's it hanging?" he replied, high fiving me.

Jonah had ended his gangsta image after he went through the Gauntlet, but he still sometimes talked like a rapper.

"I was just wondering…you like Shakespeare, right?" I asked.

"Dude, you're bringing that up at a party?" he said, gesturing at the dancing people.

"Infectious toad-spotted fustilarian!" I burst out suddenly. Jonah frowns.

"Yo, why'd you just insult me?" he asks.

"Thou reeky doghearted miscreant!" I exclaim again. Jonah steps back.

"Dude, stop it!"

"Puking elf-skinned dewberry!"

"KEEGAN!"

I follow Jonah around the party and continue insulting him. Finally, the party ends and Jonah disappears as fast he can.

"Goodbye, impertinent dizzy-eyed boar-pig!" I yell, waving at him sprinting to his limo.

In the limo with Ian and Natalie, Natalie looks at me.

"How was the party?" she asks.

"I had a little fun aggravating Jonah." I say, smirking.

"By the way, dear cousin, when are you leaving England?" Ian asks quickly.

"No worries, Ian, I'm on a flight to Korea tomorrow. Don't get your pink knickers in a twist."

"I'm not! I mean, I don't have pink knickers in a twist!" he says.

"So you DO have pink knickers! I was digging in your room and saw them!" I reply.

"No, I don't! They were just white knickers that got mixed with red knickers!"

"Okay, but how do you explain why you have knickers in the first place?"

"ARRRGH!"

Natalie hides her giggling behind her hand and Ian and I continue arguing as the limo speeds down the street.


	4. Chapter 4: Allistair

**Ooh, I have 10 reviews! I iz happy. :) Of course, it would be nice for some more...hint...hint...hint...**

Chapter 4:

Target: Allistair Oh

4. Confusify Allistair with text talk

My plane arrived in Seoul, South Korea, where my parents were attending a meeting about the next Ekaterina leader. I was staying at Allistair's mansion, where the Starling triplets were also staying at the moment.

"Hello, peoplez!" I yelled into the echoing mansion.

Allistair came to the front door and sent a butler to pick up my luggage.

"Welcome to Seoul, Keegan." he said politely.

"Hey, Uncle Allistair! Hope you're the next Ekat leder!" I said cheerfully.

"Leder?" he asked.

"Er, forget that. Where's Sinead, Ted, and Ned?" I asked.

He led me to his roomy living room, where the three were hanging out, doing sudoku and listening to audiobooks. They were all dressed in their usual preppy look.

"Hi Sinead. Are your brothers better?"

She looks up from her sudoku puzzle.

"Oh…hi Keegan," she said with obvious contempt in her voice. "Yeah, they're a little better. Ted can see now, but he's sensitive to light, is near-sighted, and has these huge thick glasses. Ned still has headaches, but not as frequently."

I nodded, and then exited to talk to Allistair in the garden.

"What's up, Uncle?"

"Oh, Keegan… hello again. How are you? I haven't seen Amy and Dan in a while, have you?"

"Oh, you mean Awesoamy and the Danster? I'm seeing them next week! I just saw Ian and Natalie, and I totally pwned them! I was LOLing when I saw Ian's pink boxers."

Allistair looks confused.

"I beg your pardon?"

"OMG, and Jonah was running away like a miniature mouse! I was ROFL!"

"You were what? Anyways, my uncle Bae was sent to prison and I am comforted-"

"IKR! FYI, my parents are at the Ekat ledership meeting right now!"

Allistair looks hopelessly out of it.

"Ledership? IKR? What?" he asks.

"IMHO, I think you should be the next leder, Uncle! TTYL, I'm going to look for lolcats on my laptop!"

"PARDON?" Allistair asks again.

I leave Allistair perplexed in his garden, and go into the living room.

Sinead blocks the doorway, grinning at me.

"What was that?" she asks, looking out the window at Allistair working furiously in his garden.

"That was me…pranking a relative." I say semi-innocently.

"Pul-leeze, Keegan that was incredibly amateur. I could do better in my sleep."

"Oh, really? Then how about you help me with my next prank? We'll see how good you are."

"It's a deal." She replied. And we shook hands.

As we walked into the kitchen to get a snack, I said, "You know, I don't really talk like that."

"Keegan? Nobody does. Not offline, anyways."

"I know, right?" I replied with an amused smile.

* * *

><p><strong>By the way, I hope YOU don't talk like that. Also, don't ask about the leder thing. It's a long story. Awesoamy, in case you were wondering, is pronounced: A whiny kid going "Aw", an annoyed teenager going "So?" and Amy saying her name, "Amy."<strong>


	5. Chapter 5:Ted & Ned

**Keep up the reviews, guys! :)**

Chapter 5

Target: Ted & Ned

5. Educate Ted & Ned on the newly discovered family enemy.

Okay, fine. Sinead could help me. I showed her #5 on my list, and Sinead smirked.

"Quite amateurish, but it'll work." she said.

I rolled my eyes at her and went to find Ned & Ted in the living room. Ted was looking at one of those eyesight posters and Ned was taking aspirin.

"Hello, preppy dudes!" I said cheerfully, making Ned gag on the Tylenol.

"Agh - Keegan, how are you?" Ned muttered, gulping down water.

"I'm all right. So, want me to educate you on what you missed during the hunt?"

"She told me all about it!" Sinead bragged.

"Tell us, Keegan." Ted piped up.

I looked around the room, wondering how to begin.

"So, you guys know about the Madrigals, right?" Sinead asked.

"Uh-huh." both the boys replied.

"So..." I begin.

"We discovered another family, who are our enemies." I continue.

"We know Keegan...the Vespers, right?" Ted asked.

"Yes, but there's another family...they are the deadly..."

"Smiths!" Sinead called out.

"Smiths?" the boys repeat in confusion.

I grin at Sinead and nod furiously.

"Yes, the Smiths. You know how there are so many Smiths in the world? It's because they're all distantly related to each other, but they let people think it's just a common surname. They're really another evil family trying to take over the world, steal the serum, and trying to strike fear into the heart of squirrels everywhere, not necessarily in that order."

Ted and Ned look at each other. Silence fills the room.

"Wow." Ned finally says.

"I didn't know about the Smiths. Thanks for telling us, Keegan. We can watch out for them." Ted adds gratefully.

Sinead looks like she's about to explode into giggles, so I decide to make my exit.

"Okay, guys! Tomorrow I'll tell you about deadly teddy bears!" I say, and then drag Sinead out of the room. We run to the garden and start laughing.

"That...was...hilarious..." Sinead gasps as she laughs.

Allistair walks into the garden.

"Good afternoon, nieces." he says, looking curiously at us.

"Good afternoon." we echo.

"Would you like to attend the trial of Bae Oh tomorrow?" he then adds.

I turn to Sinead and we grin.

"Definitely."


	6. Chapter 6: Bae

**I really appreciate the reviews, guys. **

Chapter 6: Bae Oh

6. JURY DUTY!

I, Sinead, and Alistair arrived at the court, sitting at the front of the room. Actually, Ted and Ned were there too, just right behind us. The triplets were in their usually preppy-geeky look, and somehow they'd convinced me to wear a sweater with a plaid skirt. Gosh.

Everyone turned as Bae was brought into the room and seated at that seat-thingy next to the judge. The judge coughed and began.

"Today we are here for the judgment of Bae Oh, who has many charges against him. Here to issue the charges is-"

I stood up before Allistair could and smiled at Sinead, who smirked.

"Keegan Katerson, sir." I said, flipping my hair casually.

The judge frowned.

"You seem too young to be doing this."

"No worries. I graduated from Harvard last year." I said with a straight face.

The judge sighed, and then gestured for me to begin. I cleared my throat.

"Bae Oh, we the jury and other people charge you for the murder 60 years ago of Gordon Oh, your twin brother. Also, you are on trial for dealing with illegal substances, shipping illegal items, attempting and succeeding in murdering several other unidentifiable people, and assault and battery to your nephew."

The judge began to speak again, but I continued.

"We the jury also claim that you are guilty of playing with rubber duckies in the bathtub, not owning an iPod, not wearing something other than that weird old-man suit, being too old for crime, being a bad leder, and for not having enough hair on your head."

Bae stared at me, bewildered.

"You are charged for not giving me a cool Ekat weapon that time in Cairo, for not giving your rich-ish nephew cash, for not ever eating one of your nephew's microwavable burritos, for not working out more, for not retiring like a normal really old man, for having perfect eyesight even though you are incredibly old, for making your mother's ghost disappointed in you by committing all these crimes, and for getting yourself charged in court, I mean what were you thinking?" I concluded.

Everyone seemed amused now, and the jury stood up and nodded at me.

"We, the jury, find the really old dude, GUILTY!" I say cheerfully.

"I'm not that old!" Bae yells before being escorted out the room.

The judge speaks.

"I sentence Bae Oh to spend the rest of his life in prison! Which, considering how old he is, isn't incredibly long."

"**I'M NOT THAT OLD**!" his voice comes from outside.

Alistair pats me on the back.

"Good job, Keegan."

Sinead and her brothers grin at me.

"I was trying not to laugh really hard, but I almost failed." Sinead says.

The judge comes up and shakes my hand.

"My name is Judge Robert Smith. Excellent…uh, work there, young lady. You should…definitely consider a future as a lawyer. Or a comedian."

Ted and Ned widen their eyes, hearing his name, and run to the limo.

Alistair brings Sinead and I to the limo and we all cruise along the street, hearing Bae Oh in the distance yell about how he's not _THAT OLD_.

"Face it, he's like 80." Ted says out loud, smirking.

"Are you sure it isn't 90?" Ned asks back.

"I'll bet he's 100!" I conclude, sending everyone into a fit of chuckling.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you;<strong>

**fanCLUbofme for the idea about Ted and Ned freaking out at a guy from the trial**

**MaridglesROCKYOURSOCKSOFF, bookgirl39, Serenity Kabra and warriorcatShadowscar for reviewing more than once**

**foreveryounggg - I really appreciated your review! This isn't exactly my first fan-fic, per se, but it's one of my first ones and the first here on FF. **

**All other reviewers, for reviewing! Even comments on what I can do better help, because then I can do better! No flaming, though. :)**


	7. Chapter 7: Amy

**Guess it's been a while. To make it up, enjoy this long chapter! And sorry for the weird spacing. Blame Word.**

7. Interrupt Amy's obsessive reading time. And mention Ian.

I was leaving Korea, much to Alistair's delight. My parents had an important Cahill-family meeting in Boston, so I was headed there. Apparently, so were the Starlings.  
>"Ma'am, please turn your phone off. We're about to take off." the flight attendant said.<br>"But I'm updating my CliqueMe status!" Sinead wailed.  
>Ted and Ned snickered quietly from behind us. I turned around and glared at them. Sinead sighed and powered off her phone.<br>The plane landed in Boston many hours later. We went on and did all the usual getting-off-the-plane stuff, like getting our luggage and finding a taxi (or a limo, in our case). My parents had to go to the meeting immediately, and so did Mr. and Mrs. Starling, so I was stuck with the three siblings. We were staying in a hotel near Amy and Dan's apartment building. Maybe we would give them a visit.

-epic break-

"Helloooooo?" I called into the apartment.

Saladin dashed out and hissed at me.

"Hi, you ridiculously spoiled cat, you mangy animal, you!" Sinead purred in that voice you use to talk to babies.

"Who's there?" a voice called from the hallway.

Amy Cahill walked towards us.

"Oh…it's you guys. How'd you get in?"

"The…door was unlocked?" Ted replied from behind me.

Amy sighed and turned around.

"DAN! YOU FORGOT TO LOCK THE DOOR WHEN YOU CAME IN!" she yelled.

"WELL, SORRY!" he called back.

"AND YOU LEFT THE TOLIET SEAT UP!"

"OH, GO AND TALK TO SOMEONE WHO CARES."

Amy grimaced and turned back to us.

"Anyways…why are you here?"

"That's a pleasant welcome." Ned said.

"Well, Fiske and Nellie are off talking with architecture people, because we're planning to make a replica of Grace's mansion."

"Cool!" Sinead said, and started pressing keys on her phone.

Amy brought us inside and told us to hang out for a while. Sinead sat down and seemed to be typing up a blog entry, while Ted and Ned went to chill with the Danster.

I decided now was to take action on my next annoyment**. (A/N: Like accomplishment, but with annoy—yeah, get it?)**

First, I went into the kitchen and raided the fridge. I grabbed a diet root beer and popped a piece of bacon in my mouth. Then I walked around.

I found Amy in her room. She was reading one of those bestselling books about vampire romance.

"Uh…whatcha doing?" I asked, surprising her.

"Reading…this…"

I eyed the cover. Man, I hated those books. I sat down.

"So…interesting?"

"I'm just reading it because I'm bored!" Amy said defensively.

I nodded quickly and sat there….bored…

"HEY, didja know I saw Ian two weeks ago?" I blurted out.

Amy looked up, seeming interested.

"What'd you do?"

"Oh, I zapped his belt so that his pants fell down and you could see his pink boxers and then I took over his auction and sold a weird statue for a dollar, and then Ian came back with a new belt and kicked me out."

Amy nodded slowly, and then turned back to her book. I glared at it. STUPID ROMANTIC NOVEL.

I whistled the Jeopardy thinking song. I sipped my diet root beer, and then "accidentally" spilled it on the vampire book.

"Oops!" I said.

"Ugh! I just bought that at the bookstore!" Amy cried.

I shrugged apologetically.

"Doesn't water dry? It's fine…right?" I said innocently.

"Keegan. That's diet root beer. It's brown and sticky. The pages will dry with an ugly stain. And ants will crawl all over it."

I shrugged. Amy groaned and went off to get paper towels. I waited until she left.

I called out the door, "Saladin!" Sala-din-din-dinny!"

The cat strutted into the bedroom, purring.

I smiled at the cat and then threw the book at it.

"MRRRRRREEEEEOOOOWWWWW!" Saladin wailed.

"SALADIN? WHAT HAPPENED?" Amy yelled.

"HE PROBABLY SAW A DEAD MOUSE OR SOMETHING. HE'S SUCH A WIMP!" Dan replied from another area of the house.

Saladin growled at the book. I did not know cats could growl.

The cat pounced on the hardcover book, tearing at the book's jacket. Within seconds the certain book cover with two hands holding an apple was torn to shreds. I watched as he scratched at the book's spine and then promptly tore out the pages in bunches. A few minutes later he had finished. He licked his paws, satisfied he had destroyed the enemy.

"Good kitty," I said happily.

Amy walked in, and then stared at her pet cat and the ruined book, if you could call it a book.

"_What happened_?" she asked in a scary sounding voice one uses when they want to destroy a cat.

I pointed to Saladin, who was purring joyfully.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HIM?"

"Well, he might've torn me to shreds. And…I really hate that book."

Amy stuttered some impolite words and stomped out.

"IAN MISSES YOU! AT LEAST, I THINK! HE'S WAY BETTER THAN THAT TOLLIVER GUY THE FAMILY'S GOSSIPING ABOUT!" I yelled after her.

More impolite words, except louder.

I shrugged. I took some more vampire romance novels off of Amy's book shelf and tossed them to Saladin.

"Enjoy," I said as I walked out.


	8. Chapter 8: Dan

**Yes, I know it's been like 6 months, and I'm now I'm one of those horrible authors who leaves a story alone for forever, and I'm SO SORRY!**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Even with the new series out.**

8. Give Dan a makeover, preferably while he is sleeping.

Dan:

"Is Amy still ticked from yesterday?" Sinead asked.

I shrugged and bit into a cookie.

"It wasn't my fault. Saladin destroyed her precious little books."

Then Amy stormed into the room and slammed a pile of shredded paper onto the dining table.

"These are _my books_. You do not treat books like _this_." she said angrily.

"Saladin did it. Anyway, you do not treat _good_ books like that. That deserves it."

Amy stuttered in fury again, and then stomped out of the room.

"I'M GOING TO THE LIBRARY!" she shouted.

We heard the loud noise of a preteen boy jumping into bed, followed by the rustling of blankets and sheets. Then we heard the noise of something thumping against a door, shutting it closed.

"I'M TAKING A NAP!" Dan shouted back.

I looked at Sinead and grinned.

"Do you have any makeup?" I asked.

She raised a single skinny eyebrow.

"Why would you think I had makeup?" she asked defensively.

I crossed my arms and gave her a look.

"You're a preppy kind of girl."

She narrowed her eyes at me and went off to her room to get her bag. I eyed the shredded paper on the table and put it in the fireplace. Reusing paper, right? I followed Sinead to her room and opened my mouth in shock.

"You're really a preppy kind of girl."

She had put posters of male celebrities around her room, even though we were staying here as guests.

"Didn't I mention? I'm going to live here. Ted and Ned are getting care at a doctor's nearby. And I could go to school, but I seriously doubt they have anything to teach me."

I stood and stared at her. Well, she was going to live with Amy and Dan and Nellie and Fiske. Okay then. I opened and closed my mouth again when she tugged out a pink suitcase from under her bed and unzipped it to reveal numerous shopping bags tucked inside.

"Natalie gave me some makeup for my birthday."

"What's Natalie's definition of _some_?" I asked.

She grabbed the first bag she saw and stood up.

"So, are we going to go check up on Dan or what?"

She had a silly grin on her face, and I probably did too. We went across the hallway and carefully opened the door. I stumbled upon a pillow, which was probably what Dan threw at the door. On a bed near the window was a large snoring lump that was known as Dan.

"Good thing he sleeps on his back and not his stomach," I muttered.

We peeled back his blanket from over his face and examined it. He had drool slipping down from the corner of his mouth. His hair was a mess, but that was to be expected. Sinead and I worked in silence. First, we applied foundation and blush.

"Do you even know how to apply this stuff?" I asked.

I stared confusedly at the eyeliner and the eyebrow pencil. Not to mention, what was the blush and what was the eyeshadow. Sinead rolled her eyes and worked on carefully applying mascara to our victim. I was rather surprised Dan didn't wake up, even with Sinead likely about to poke him in the eye. I rubbed the lipstick on his mouth and drew a fake mole on his cheek. Sinead decided plucking his eyebrows was a little much, and gave him a unibrow instead.

"My brother's a heavy sleeper, huh," a voice said behind us.

We turned around, guilty. Amy smiled at us.

"Well, I guess this makes up for you ruining my books. Dan's not going to be happy."

We pulled out his hands from underneath the covers and glued fake nails on.

"You have fake nails? How much stuff did Natalie send you?" Amy whispered.

Sinead shook her head, smirking. We eventually finished and went out to do normal stuff, like watching TV.

"WHY DO I HAVE REALLY GIRLY NAILS? _WHY DO I HAVE A REALLY GIRLY FACE_?"

I exploded into giggles as Dan walked into the living room.

"Keegan! Did you do this? I HATE YOU!"

Sinead and Amy walked in, bursting into laughter.

"AHH DID YOU GUYS HELP?"

"It's Natalie's makeup, actually," Sinead said.

"The makeup Natalie _sent you for your birthday_?" he replied accusingly.

I looked at him suspiciously.

"How do you know what Natalie gave Sinead for her birthday?"

"Uh…Natalie updated her CliqueMe with it."

"And _why _do you check her CliqueMe?"

"Uh…"

"Wait, WHAT? Are you stalking Natalie?" Amy asked.

Dan stared at her in horror and made a sound of awkward embarrassment/disgustedness. Sinead kept laughing and I smirked.

"Say cheese," I said, snapping a picture with my phone.

"Wha—what—WHAT?" Dan screeched, lunging for my phone.

I jumped up and lifted it over my head.

"Sorry, buddy. This is going on my CliqueMe, for all the Cahills and _Natalie_ to see."

"What—AMY HELP!"

"Sorry, Dan," she replied, grinning.

I pocketed the phone and walked off to the kitchen.

"Vacation photos, buddy. Anyway, who wants to order pizza?"

**Again, I'm sorry. I was aware of this story and me abandoning it, but I wasn't very inspired, so yeah. I hope you're really happy and will read and review. ^.^ And check out some of my other stories, especially if you're a fan of Harry Potter, Wicked, Les Mis, and Artemis Fowl. :D**


	9. Chapter 9: Nellie

**So.****..it's been two months, hasn't it?**

9. Hide Nellie's iPod.

Dan had locked himself in the bathroom so he could scrub his face…for the third time.

"It's supposed to be easy to remove. Maybe you aren't doing it right," Sinead said loudly.

Dan didn't reply. Or, if he did, we only heard sounds of someone muttering under their breath. Anyway, the pizza had gotten here 15 minutes late, so we got it for free. Pretty awesome, despite the fact it was cold. Amy and Sinead had ordered the side of the pizza with olives and mushrooms. I stuck with my side of plain pepperoni.

"So, any plans for your, um, next prank?" Amy asked.

I smirked and presented my list to them. Amy widened her eyes.

"Take away Nellie's iPod? You're going to take away Nellie's iPod?" she asked in astonishment.

"Who's taking away Nellie's iPod?" Dan asked as he walked in. He still had smears of makeup on his face, which wasn't very appealing. Amy and Sinead pointed at me. Dan stared and shook his head.

"Man, you're a brave soul. That's a totally great idea!" he said, grinning.

"Dan!" Amy protested.

"What? It is! Remember on that airplane flight we yanked Nellie's ear buds out of her ear so we could grill her about whose side was she really on?"

"She didn't get that mad."

"That's just because we were pressuring her about other stuff," he replied.

He turned to me. "So, how are you going to do it?"

I smiled.

"Just wait."

!

We heard the car door slam. We quickly stopped talking as Nellie and Fiske strolled into the room.

"What's up, kiddos? Oh, hey Sinead and Keegan," she said, tossing her bag onto the sofa. She went to her bedroom. Fiske entered and chatted animatedly with Amy and Dan about the new mansion they were building. Sinead moved over and whispered into my ear.

"You realize her ear buds are like, always in, right? Even when she goes to the bathroom."

I shrugged.

"She can't be listening to her heavy rock music in her sleep."

!

I tiptoed cautiously into Nellie's room. Surprisingly, it was messier than Dan's. This observation also made me realize that this was the second room I'd sneaked into at night. That was…odd. Anyway, I went up to Nellie's sleeping form. I sighed in relief as I discovered her ear buds weren't in. That made this slightly easier. I located the iPod in the second drawer of her nightstand and left the room feeling accomplished.

The next morning, I awoke to a terrible shriek.

"WHERE ON EARTH IS MY IPOD?"

Then I heard heavy stomping in the hallway. A door slammed open.

"DAN, YOU LITTLE BRAT, DID YOU TAKE LEONARDO?"

"…What?" a groggy voice replied.

"Leonardo. My iPod."

"You named your iPod Leonardo? And no, I didn't take it. I don't know where it is."

Nellie made a noise of frustration and stomped over to Amy's room. By this time I was hovering in the doorway of my room peeking out into the hallway.

"Um, excuse me, Amy, did you like, take my Leonardo to listen to last night or something?"

"AMY GETS AN 'EXCUSE ME' BUT I GET A 'YOU LITTLE BRAT'?" Dan yelled.

"SHUT UP!" Nellie called back.

Amy said something in response and Nellie sighed.

"THEN WHERE IS IT?"

Nellie skipped past Fiske's room (which was expected, as Fiske didn't listen to Lady Gaga), and to Sinead's room. I rushed back into my room and took the iPod out from under my pillow and hid it in an ugly vase in the living room.

"Okay, Sinead, have you seen my iPod Leonardo?"

"Nope, I haven't. And did you name Leonardo after the artist?"

"No, I named it after the actor in Titanic. Anyway, WHERE THE HECK IS IT THEN?"

She stormed out into the hallway as I was returning from the living room.

"Keegan! Did you take my iPod?"

Clearly, no one had updated her on my pranking tendencies yet.

"Nope. I have my own, anyway. Maybe Saladin took it."

Nellie rolled her eyes and then realized Saladin _could_ have taken it. Just then, the cat strolled into the room.

"Saladin!" Nellie said, picking him up. She looked around and didn't see her iPod on the ground.

"Mrrp." Saladin purred.

She sighed and set him down.

"GREAT! LEONARDO'S GONE! I'LL NEVER SEE HIS SHININESS AGAIN."

I stared at her and wondered if she had become insane already. This was going to be a _hilarious_ day.

!

The rest of the household members began to come out of their rooms and get breakfast, occasionally glancing at Nellie to check if she was going to need help. Nellie curled up into a ball on the corner of the couch and watched Disney Channel.

"Um, Nellie, the TV volume's at like…50…" Sinead said.

"BE QUIET! I'M WATCHING PHINEAS AND FERB."

Sinead backed away cautiously and went to talk to me.

"When are you going to give her iPod back?" she asked.

"At the end of the day. Let's see how bad she's going to get."

Dan went up to Nellie to ask her to turn the volume down. Nellie waved him away and started singing along with the TV.

"HE'S A SEMIAQUATIC, EIGHT LEGGED MAMMAL OF ACTION!"

"Perry…Perry the Platypus!" Dan sang, grinning.

Nellie stopped for a second and glared at him.

"Do you mind?"

!

Approximately 10 hours later, Nellie was still on the same sofa. Everyone else had eaten dinner, and everyone else was also annoyed. Even Saladin. Nellie had begun to sing along to every song that played on the TV. This, considering she was watching Disney Channel…was a lot of songs. Dan groaned as Nellie was singing along to the Shake It Up theme song.

"THIS IS HORRIBLE!" he yelled, struggling to be heard over the TV. "Nellie's taste in music hasn't always been the best, but now she's lowering herself to this…this…horror! AND SHE'S SINGING ALONG TO IT TOO! DO YOU HEAR HER VOICE? SHE WOULD BE ONE OF THOSE CHICKS BOOED OFF AMERICA'S GOT TALENT."

Fiske and Saladin had retreated to the backyard. Amy and Sinead, who were avid Disney Channel watchers themselves, were sitting next to Nellie. They winced at the volume of the TV and Nellie's singing, but didn't appear to be very bothered. I was just watching everyone. Dan plugged his ears and screamed.

"THIS IS MADNESS!"

He looked around wildly, and picked up a vase.

"Dan, don't…" I began.

He let out a hysterical cry and threw the vase with all his might at the TV. It basically exploded. Glass shards flew all across the room in a massive flare of electricity. Dan panted, out of breath.

"I think I'll go lie down," he said, and left.

Nellie, Amy, and Sinead stared at the wreckage. Fiske ran in and let out a gasp of surprise.

"What in the world…DAN? DID YOU DO THIS?"

"I'M RESTING!"

Nellie slowly stood up and walked over to the ruined TV and vase shards.

"What's this?" she said, picking up a shiny object.

Yes, it was her iPod.

"LEONARDO!" she cried in joy, hugging it close to her. She somehow managed not to puncture herself on any of the broken glass around her.

"Leonardo's case saved him!" she said, grinning. Then she frowned.

"Why was it in that ugly vase?"

Amy and Sinead pointed at me.

"What? KEEGAN? YOU STOLE MY IPOD AND HID IT IN AN UGLY VASE? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT IT IN A NICE VASE WITH FLOWERS IN IT? AND WHY DID YOU STEAL LEONARDO?"

"I…was…pranking you?" I replied anxiously. Nellie, clearly, was not happy.

Nellie stared at me and shook her head in disbelief. Amy silently went over and took Nellie's iPod. She turned it on and stuck the ear buds in Nellie's ears. Nellie kept yelling at me.

"WHY, I OUGHT TO ROUNDHOUSE KICK YOU LIKE CHUCK NORRIS! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! I'M GONNA—"

What Nellie was going to do I didn't know, because Amy had just hit Play. The music pounded into Nellie's ears. I assumed it sent calming signals to her brain, because her expression went blank and she stopped yelling.

"Well, I'm going to go get something to eat. See you later," Nellie said plainly, leaving the house. Everyone in the room stared at each other.

"I'll, um, clean this mess up," Fiske said.

I looked at Amy and Sinead.

"Today was HILARIOUS!" I said, grinning.

The two wearily smiled at me.

"I think we should all go to bed," Sinead replied.

We all thought that was a good idea.

* * *

><p><strong>Review! Or Nellie will release her wrath on you.<strong>


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